Come On, Buy These 5 Products (It’s Not Rocket Science)

This piece was compiled by those who run the Cracked Store to let you know about items that are now being offered there.

It’s difficult to judge the caliber of your personal education. What appeared just like a comprehensive consider the world of human understanding to you may be appear like drunk finger painting to another person. But that is regardless of, because when any ’80s movie that includes a senior high school has trained us, real learning does not take place in the classroom. It takes place within the heart. As well as in the mind, too, we guess. But our point is the fact that nowadays, the only real factor you have to be an excellent genius may be the drive to do this and a web connection. So knowing that, here are a few methods to improve your smarts …

SitePoint Premium Courses Lifetime Subscription


Noisy . times of the web, when every website were built with a tiled background a frustrating blinking alien, you can land a lucrative developer job simply by knowing fundamental HTML. Today’s web is a touch modern-day, however that does not mean it’s less accessible. Nearly every web design skill, from navigating the insane tangle of constantly churning frameworks to dealing with “the cloud” (whatever that’s), are available online. SitePoint has a lot of programming courses, e-books, and tutorials, and you may get a lifetime subscription to all of them for 88 percent off the normal $450 price tag.

Instaread Lifetime Subscription


You will know familiar feeling: You are hanging with a lot of academics and authors. Someone references David Promote Wallace, and also you exclaim, “Ok last one. I understand him. In charge from Work.” After which everybody laughs to you, forcing you to definitely bring your revenge in it. And you’d pull off your plot, too, otherwise for that Batman.

Yeah, we have all had the experience, also it sucks. But no more, because you can now be considered a snooty cultural elite too. Having a lifetime subscription to Instaread (available here for 90 percent off), you should use your phone to obtain the gist associated with a novel without requiring to achieve that annoying “browse the whole book” factor. It just takes fifteen minutes to understand all you need to a good entire book. You can now spend time doing what’s important: practicing your scholarly impression.

Virtual Training Company Lifetime Subscription


If you are starting to get a little tired of your daily grind in dog-walking, part-time Twitch streaming, or bullshit temp work, you’re going to need more than your acerbic millennial wit to get a grip on any sort of career ladder. Virtual Training Company offers thousands of hours of vocational content for a wide variety of professions, allowing you to get some valuable work skills and finally rid your resume of seasonal jobs from high school. We know, we know. That semester you spent abroad was more valuable than any job experience ever could be. But since most careers will never be based around you saying “Yeah, but it’s not like pizza from ITALY,” we’re going to insist you need more. Pick up a lifetime subscription here for 96 percent off the normal $2,500 price tag.

Task Pigeon Lifetime Premium Subscription


Although business culture loves to praise charisma and adherence to abstract strategies, being a great manager is really just 90 percent delegating and 10 percent staying near a Keurig machine. In fact, you could be a literal coffee pot and we’d wager you’d be the best manager out there, as long as all of your subordinates knew what they were supposed to be doing. Luckily, you’re not a coffee pot, so you already have a leg up on the competition. And even luckier for you, Task Pigeon’s team management platform will allow you to keep your corporate grift running as smoothly as possible. You can grab a lifetime subscription here for 89 percent off.

TruBrain Drinks


Obviously, the best way to get smarter is to try to learn things. But when your veins are pumping with cortisol and you haven’t slept in 48 hours, you’ll probably need some kind of chemical boost. Unlike those crazy supplements Alex Jones shills on InfoWars, this nutritional nootropic drink was designed by UCLA neuroscientists to improve focus and regulate stress without caffeine. See? Coffee pots have nothing on you. Get some TruBrain here and save over 50 percent.

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