The past two days fasting has been spent working at Silly Billy’s Toy Shop.
It is good to have the distraction and business that surrounds work whilst fasting, although if I was working in a manual labour role I very much doubt that I would be able to take this fast as far as I have.
Overall it has not been too bad at work, the only sore point which brings great attention to cravings and also associations, is how I really pine for a Marco’s Pizza.
There are many associations like this that come to the surface of consciousness as I am fasting. Geographical associations, like being at work and Marco’s Pizza. Associations with other senses, eyes and nose being the main ones and then there are subtle associations which are harder to put into words. All of these are coming more into my awareness as I continue to Fast.
My friend said to me on Wednesday (Day4) “Have you got fasting fog?”, well I did not at that point though I do now know what he means and was alluding to. Some times I feel as if I am a bit stoned or a bit out of it and the mental faculties do not seem as sharp as they were.
That’s one small thing as for the rest of the fast it feels liberating.
As well as the matter of association which comes up a lot in addiction and I have met before in my pre-decade ago substance abuse when I was smoking and drinking alcohol. The association between coffee and cigarettes and parallel association between cigarettes and coffee, all of which have addictive qualities, meant for me that the easiest way to give up drinking, which I was seriously addicted to, was to give up tobacco and coffee as well. Such is the nature of addiction and addictive substances.
Some types of food have addictive natures as well, and it is no small matter that the fast I am doing is also to address this and potentially any transference of addiction that may have happened in the past from the destructive substances of alcohol and tobacco to the necessary substance of food. Food is a hot topic with ever increasing sizes in population and associated health risks that go with being overweight. I am looking at potentially trying to get my body into a state of ketosis more regularly post fast and also fasting perhaps 2 days a week as per the 5-2 structure. Though for some reason that I cannot fathom yet I find fasting for one day extraordinarily hard.
So when it comes down to it what is the real nature of food and my relationship to it?
It seeems, as demonstrated in Vipassana meditation, that really the driving force behind my food habits is sensation. That is taste and texture. I remember that when I was last fasting for 7 days the lack of oral sensation drove me slightly nuts and it happened about half-way through. This time it hasn’t happened until I start writing about it now on Fasting Day 7. Whereas looking back at the Last Fast posts it was all a bit more tricky to maintain the fast and a lot fo talk was about the food I ate, so aside again from the reference to Marco’s Fantastic Pizza then I do feel that I have moved on. If we take the sensory pleasure out of food then what do we have left? Porridge??
This is where it all starts to get tricky I feel.
Like if you only eat raw food for example then surely that will be a bit of bland diet, or as another friend of mine said, isn’t life vacuous without the pleasures of food, that’s not a quote as it wasn’t exactly what he said. This did lead me to this notion that pretty much 99% of what drives me to eat is the pleasure gained from eating rather than any notion of hunger. I do not think I have even been hungry really during the course of this fast so far.
Perhaps my body is happy to sustain itself on the excesses that I have put into it in the past ?