I was driving home with my lovely girlfriend from Whitby and we decided to go to the Harvester at Xscape off of M62 for something to eat.
For anyone that has not been there, like many other places it has a pavement beside the road into the car park. then between the car park and the pavement is a sloping green verge with small hedges planted to grow together over time. A bit like a new build suburban estate.
Sat on the grass was a fellow taking a large swig from a 2 litre bottle of Strongbow and looking oddly familiar. I noticed the bottle was 2/3rds empty and the chap clearly under the weather; he was clearly quite inebriated and in a state of trying to stand whilst simultaneously deciding it was too much like hard work. Kind of made me smile and recollected states that I had been in similarly many years ago now, what seems like another lifetime to me now.
The drunken guy looked strangely out of place there as it is an odd place for drunken alcoholics to hang out in a retail park. I asked Mel if she had seen the guy?
“What guy?”, she said. I explained what I saw as Mel parked the car and she repeated that she hadn’t seen anyone and as she was driving quite slowly she thought she would have done. I went back to have a look. there was no-one there. so its possible though not practical that the man I saw had some how left, though as it looked like he could barely sit up straight then how he had managed to leave was quite beyond my comprehension.
I chatted to Mel and she suggested that perhaps it was me or how I could have turned out had I not turned my life around in 2006 when I stopped drinking alcohol. This very much resonated with me as did the likelihood of me becoming more open and more aware after the Tarot Reading with Barry, which I feel is most probably the case.
So my ambition, I don’t really have any, and I am using that word tongue-in-cheek, is to become liberated. To no longer be swayed by this material world of suffering, to be in the World but not of the World, such has been said by many masters in times gone by. How is this understood by a mere mortal like me?
I came to a realisation some time ago that I had said “Life is suffering” for some time before I really truly understood at an experiential level what these words actually mean. I now feel that I have realised what these words mean, and this sentence now rather than making me feel slightly miserable, as it used to, now makes me smile inside. Imagine that turnaround.
Similarly a realisation at a completely integrated cellular level of liberation, to be in the World yet not of this World is really where I am heading, I feel that strongly.
Yesterday’s glimpse of my life as it could have been had I carried on down the self-destructive alcoholic route was a reminder of how far I have come in this lifetime, and as I have said many times before this lifetime feels to me like many lifetimes rolled into one and yet more is to be unfolded in time.